Memories...

Happiness \ˈha-pē-nəs\ (noun) - seeing you again.

2008-01-22T12:45:00.000+08:00

HALF CRAZY

You know I haven’t slept a wink at all since you've been gone
(...I do sleep naman, kaso nga lang, I wake up every now and then thinking of you and hoping na you're thinking of me too...)
And my eyes are kinda tired from crying all night long
(...people would not see me cry...naman!!!...pero dito sa loob...I cry a lot...)

Know I've never been too good at cooking just for one
(...translated - I'm really not to good at telling ("cooking") people how much I love them
...yet I even shocked myself how I was able to say the love I feel for you and tell you how much you mean to me...)
It's so lonely here without you baby come back home
(...tagal naman ng five years...oh well...I can wait forever nga di ba...)

Coz I'm half crazy
(...keeping myself sane is a feat...lalo na while you were around...hirap nun huh!...)
Feelin' sorry for myself
(...SUPER!!!...need I explain more?...)
Half crazy
(...lakas ng dating mo!...nakakabaliw!...(kala mo walang pagnanasa? meron po...kaso hindi nga yun ang priority e...ah basta!...)
Worried you'd find someone else to love
(...I'm more worried that you'd lose the feeling you have for mwah...(confident ba?)...)

Know life hasn't been much fun at all since you've been gone
(...I had some fun while you were gone, but nothing compares to the thrill and joy I felt inside when I saw you again...)
And my eyes begin to fear each time I hear our song
(...di naman masyado halata na puro songs natin ang pinapatugtog ko di ba?...)
I spent every minute asking myself what went wrong
(...actually, I know what went wrong...it just happened to be the biggest blunder of my life...)
Can't we try to talk it over baby, come back home
(...we don't really have to talk...just come back home...I'll take care of you...)

‘Coz I'm half crazy
Feelin' sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you'd find someone else to love

But baby there is no one else
Half crazy
For everything you say and do
Half crazy
No one else could love you like I do
(...this would be very self promoting pero noon ko pa sinabi sa'yo yan...no one can love you more, no one can love you better...)

Thank you. You made me so happy while you were here. You added another treasure in my life for me to cherish. I so hope that you'd someday understand what happened.

Nineteen years ago, I was faced with one of the biggest disgust in my life. You told me you were leaving. I tried not to show the emotional impact it has caused me by doing things which I eventually realized wrong. It came to a point where I was put in a situation in which it felt like I had to stand and take responsibility. It hurts even more when you did not show any ill feeling about it. Four years passed yet the thought of you still made my heart beat faster. I tried to tell you about it but you shoot the idea immediately, telling me that I just had to try and fix the problem I was into. A month or two later, I got myself freed from the emotional strain I had been suffering from. I was like a dog which got away from its chain. I ran until I was caught by another situation. Then you called...regrettably, this dog was caught and was chained...again. I have already told you the details of this situation and I pray you'd someday understand.

Now, fifteen years has passed but you still put me at a still. The joy I feel is overflowing. I have always dreamt of seeing you again. I mentioned about dreaming of you when you're about to have your birthday and it seemed like a dream to be actually there with you (ang aga ko nga di ba?).

I could go on and on and on and on and on kaya baka makulitan ka na...I'll save some for my next letter na lang. Again, I hope that you someday would be able to understand that I never meant to hurt you. I Love You so much!

Dreams

2007-11-06T07:28:00.000+08:00

...that was great!!!

This is all I had in mind when I woke up this morning. 'Twas a dream in my dream. I can't remember how it started (in my dream) but here goes...

I was in some kind of a gathering (church) when I looked around and saw, again, the most beautiful girl I've always dreamt of being with...

She was almost beside me. We were trying to chat but we had to whisper at each other's ears when suddenly, a man came from behind, fuming mad at what he saw. He ran out and I followed him trying to explain what he just saw. He was at the top of his voice telling me that all I wanted was to lay his girl down. Things rumbled up on my mind. I didn't readily know what to say. A promise I made flashed in my mind and slowly, words came rushing out my mouth. I told him that it is not my intention to mess their lives. I did not deny the fact that I still love the girl and this I told him. I also told him that what I feel is platonic and never in my life have I thought of such. You don't do that with a God, which, she is to me.

Then I saw myself in a car with her. We were just driving around when she received a text message. All of a sudden, she threw her cellphone out of the window. She was infuriated by the message she received...it was from this guy...

I was then taken to a scene where I was performing a tribal dance with a group of people. The dance was for her. It was an enacment of some sort to win the girl. The guy was there to see all these. Then another girl, a common friend of all of us came in the scene and asked her of her decision. It was like heaven opening when she said she'll stay. I shook hand with the guy who hardly but gentlemanly resigned to this fact.

...i woke up. It was just a dream. A dream that I would've more than willingly lived in. Then I mull over the thought and possibility for someone to choose which life to live... if it's possible for someone (in sleep and having a dream) to step out of his life and not wake up anymore and to step into his dream to live with for eternity...

"Make the magic last for more than just one night. I know we can break through it, if we can just get through it..."

It would've been the happiest moment in my life.

High School Friends

2007-07-18T11:09:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to my cousin and friend Madel.

Got this email from Friendster in my GMail account reminding me that it's Made's bday. I then visited her friendster site to greet her. I saw several common friends from high school in her friends list. Clicked on some of the peeps I know and added them to my friendster list except for one. My heart was thumping when I clicked on the picture of Rodolfo. Gladness filled me when I saw the picture. "Daymn! I miss this girl!". My day ported back to my high school days with her. Then it crammed on me...the most regretful thing I did in my life... Like one song say, "But then again, I'm glad...". I'm glad that I had a glimpse of her once again and I look forward to more of these...

If you would be able to read this, I'm Sorry...

Memories

2007-07-18T10:57:00.000+08:00

Whew... Here goes....

I'm blogging!!!

I hope to make this as informative and as entertaining to the viewers. This shall contain everyday memories and not so past memoirs too.